Trent Reznor takes a shit - 04-01-2009
We're beginning to hear reports from our insider at the NIN camp that Trent Reznor has taken a shit. There's been no word on the consistency or color, but just the fact that it's actually taken place has excited many of his most dedicated fans, spawning many new threads on the band's forums.
Images from before and after have leaked and the sense of relief is palpable. Stunned members of the NIN camp presented Reznor with a medal after the event, which can be clearly seen in the post-shit photo.
Some fans though have expressed concern that this new "relieved" Trent will no longer be able to write and perform great songs about anger, self-hatred, frustrated love and wearing black a lot (a fear that appears to have been proved true by the recently released studio recording of "Not So Pretty Now", recorded only hours after this life changing event).
A small movement (sic) within the hardcore NIN fan forums has already started stockpiling laxatives, in preparation for an organized attempt to spike Reznor's Powerade drinks on the upcoming tour - their theory being that if they can make him feel really, really, really sick, that maybe his creative juices will flow once more.
And it's not just some NIN fans that are unhappy about this exciting news - many Digg users in particular are getting irritated about the importance attached to such events:
All we can say arugge is: take a closer look and realize just how important this is. Maybe then you'll understand just exactly why Trent Reznor taking a shit is so newsworthy.
All of us at thisoneisonus.org are excited to hear about this development. With the announcement that Mr. Reznor is going to stop touring soon, we were wondering what direction life would take him. And now, it looks like we have the first hint.
Thinking about it, it looks like a natural progression from "Not giving a shit" in the early days, to "Giving a shit" as he gradually started musically exploring his political beliefs through supporting PETA and dissing George W. Bush, to finally "Taking a shit". We feel privileged being able to watch this artist grow over the last 20 years, and eagerly look forward to the "Taking the piss" stage that will surely follow.
What does the man himself think about this epic event? Why don't we ask him and find out?
This joke is brought to you by a paradox: it's only really funny if it gets front paged on Digg, and it's only going to get on the front page of Digg if it's really funny. So take a chance, giggle a little and then click the button above to make our dream come true.